Jinxed it

So, I jinxed myself by saying I hadn't missed a day of workouts yet. This morning, around 4:00, I woke up with a pounding headache. I took some Advil, but when I woke to my alarm at 5:00, my head was still pounding.

Now, I've worked out with a head cold in the past and a jacked-up knee more recently, but I really can't picture getting my heart rate up to 150 when the blood is whooshing through my brain vessels with every small move. So, you see where I'm going with this - I made the decision to skip 5:30 class today, shut the alarm off and went back to sleep.

At 5:40, my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but when the phone rings at 5:40 in the morning, you answer it, right? Conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Kari...
Me: Yes?
Caller: Why aren't you here?
Me: (Oh shit, it's Trainer Troy) I woke up with a headache
Troy: A headache?
Me: Yes (with a nervous little laugh)
Troy: Only two of you showed up again today. We need you here.
Me: Who are the two people who made it?
Troy: I'm only concerned with the people who DIDN'T make it.
Me: Sorry
Troy: We'll see you tomorrow. If you wake up with a headache again, take some Advil and get in here.

The rational side of me realizes that he's frustrated with our whole group (Monday only 2 out of 5 of us showed up; Tuesday it was the same 2; Wednesday 4; today back to 2). I'm also proud that this was the first day out of around 45 days that I missed (not counting the 4th holiday). And, I realize he must recognize that I've been religious about coming in - perhaps today was the day that his patience ended and he called all who did not show (it was just my bad fortune not to be there on this day). He also saw me running on the treadmill last night and twice last week, so he knows I'm committed - at least 95% of the time...

But the little kid in me felt like I was busted by the teacher for faking an illness to get out of a test. And this is exactly why I need a trainer - because the guilt I feel for missing, even when the reason is valid, is a very strong motivator for me. I just don't like disappointing people. Unless it's myself - I can let myself down without giving it a second thought. Which is pretty backwards when I think about it.